i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
