But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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