then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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