Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
tell me about the fingering
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