FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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