Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize