There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
