quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
