we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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