He kissed a someone with a penis
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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