you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
