can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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