im about as happy as oj after his trial
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
All I want is dick and wine.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
