4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
