I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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