So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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