shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
