if you like me you must not know who I am
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
