Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
