Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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