Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
