Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize