but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
