Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
