I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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