There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
