Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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