dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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