you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize