She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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