she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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