why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You've changed since you got that strap on
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
