she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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