I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
