I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
