I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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