I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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