guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
