You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
