He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
