All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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