whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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