Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We talked him into tasing himself.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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