If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize