she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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