Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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