Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
