I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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