The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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