is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
