I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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