a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
