Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
wow bdsm is so cute
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