have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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