Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
