No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
