Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
