we have officially lost it.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
