did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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