i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
