Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
