Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
