he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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