When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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