So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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