i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
