so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
