Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
